EP009: Nothing's for Nothing
Transcript available here.
In her haunting memoir, Nothing's for Nothing, Rebekah Demirel reveals a childhood of adversity and neglect, beginning at age three when her mother fled the violence of their home, through her years growing up in a chaotic and abusive household with her Pentecostal father and violent older brother, until leaving home at age thirteen for an uncertain life on the streets. Rebekah takes us on a soulful journey of heartbreak, loss and grief, her own difficult homeless teen years, and the resiliency gained from those experiences, with inspiring messages of hope, healing, forgiveness and personal transformation.
Rebekah Demirel at her Victoria BC home - October 2022
Rebekah and her brother
Rebekah and her mother visiting Alcatraz Island
Feel good day at the Facing Homelessness Window of Kindness
When I was a kid growing up, nobody talked about mental illness. At least openly that is. There were the hushed talks about so-and-so’s mom losing it and having to be committed to a psych-ward. Being taken away, put in a hospital somewhere. Or a friend’s Uncle who ‘went off the deep end’, now getting help with his break-down, whatever that meant. As a kid, it was all a mystery.
Back then, if you or someone in your family was getting mental health help, of any kind, nobody talked about it. It was purposefully kept quiet in a tight circle of family and close friends. There was a big stigma around saying you needed help.
Today, thankfully, that is changing. Not only are there an increasing number of people seeking various forms of mental health help, the idea of it is becoming comfortable and accepted. People are more open, want to share and talk about it. It’s commonplace to hear someone say, “Hey, I gotta run, I’ve gotta get to my therapy session.” It feels like we are living through a time where the stigma around mental illness is being dismantled.
However, there is still a big hurdle in front of us. For those suffering with mental health issues, the available help is severely lacking. This is particularly and painfully true for those struggling through homelessness.
In a culture where we are still learning to understand and give band-width to those suffering on our streets, an added level of judgment is created when the housed community sees folks living outside navigating their mental health condition. With their life on full-display, unable to be hidden behind a closed door, the negative stereotype, which is centered on misunderstanding, is fueled by the visible symptoms of mental illness.
If we discuss the issue of trauma, just one piece of the larger mental health spectrum, we know that the vast majority of folks living chronically homeless have been traumatized. Either trauma brought them into homelessness or living homeless has brought trauma to them. That should alarm us.
We are hoping this episode will be a part of an increasing awareness of bringing mental health help to those struggling through homelessness. We also hope that this conversation will provide useful and informative material for those looking to find ways to be in relationship with those living outside.
Today, I am excited to welcome my dear friend Rebekah Demirel to this conversation. She wears many hats in her life, which she does beautifully I might add, bringing lived and studied expertise. I am going to let her tell you about all of that, of who she is, but first, I do want to share that I just finished her excellent book, titled, Nothing’s for Nothing, Transformation Through Trauma. It is a collection of personal essays and reflections that I found to be profoundly insightful. I am guessing you will too!